Friday, 31 October 2008
Thursday, 30 October 2008
So more positive news, as a way of celebrating the end of this month i have decided im going to have a new me in November !! As of the 1st of November im starting my diet and gym routine...im going to make an effort to try and be a bit tanned up (i start this fake tanning routine but get bored easily), and im going to give myself little beauty treatment often and make sure i have lovely skin for christmas..
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
Sunday, 26 October 2008
The restuarant was busy, full of groups of people or couples all out for the night - childless. I found myself looking at couples and wondering, have they got kids? if they do did they just get babysitters? - if they dont have any then they look so happy !! have they been through the same troubles with IF and have come out the other end childless but happy and content.......Will i be like them?? i know after a while if we had to hear the worst ever news that things would get better- there is no point in moping around forever - i just hope it doesnt come to that.
As i said to DF last night im so so so glad i met him all those years ago, i do believe i have found my soul mate with him, even if he had known way back then that there may have been an issue with children, i still would be with him - no question about it. I just dont want him blaming himself. Altho my bloods came back and im ovulating, i could still have blockages or something thats stopping his sperm meet my egg, everyone keeps saying it only takes 1, and if he has 600'000 then im sure one day one wee bugger could get through there...i Love him so much and i would be with him regardless.
Saturday, 25 October 2008
In this quest for our baby, im figuring that it would be best if i was in the best shape i could be. I am currently about a stone and a half to 2 stone overweight. I am going to attempt to become a gym bunny !!
If IVF is required i really dnt want some doctor telling me there is nothing that can be done until i lose weight or until my BMI is within whatever reasonable limit they have decided for this month...and at the same time my mum has said every time she lost a bit of weight she became pregnant !!! ...gotta give it a shot right!!
DF is the fittest guy i know, he trains at the gym, weight lifts and plays footie, he is so healthy that it is actually unfair his sperm count is low......all these guys out there who are on drugs and smoke and drink excessively and they are producing kids like theres no tomorrow !! Its an unfair world and thats for sure.
So as well as this blog being about out baby journey, it will incorporate our life in general and the journey to me attaining a new bod !! (and if it keeps me off google then all the better). x
We are getting through this together and thats the main thing for now !
Friday, 24 October 2008
I will begin at the very beginning.... (i promise no other post will be this long)...
Im 28, and Darling Fiance is 26, soon to be 27 on Christmas Eve. We have been together for 7 years on Christmas Day (engaged 6 yrs on Christmas Day)and are to be married in Cyprus in May 2010.
We started our first cycle of 'seriously' ttc in June 2008 (i was already ovulating in May when we had decided)...and so it began, ... symptom spotting ...2weekwait....period.....ovulating.....symptom spotting....2 weekwait......period.....and so on and blah blah and blah ! Naturally we thought we would get pregnant soon, we knew it could take up to a year so were kind of chilled out, apart from the vitamins, the timed baby dance(sex)sessions, the ovulation sticks, the hpt sticks, the cervical mucus checking ...ahem....yeh we were pretty chilled !
I cried for 3 days solid and couldnt face eating, every positive thought i mustered up was beaten up and drowned by 2 negative thoughts...but... i have finally pulled myself together, with the help of DF (darling fiance) he has been amazing !... and just when im getting back to some state of normality darling one crumbles..God Love Him !! ......im glad tho, he needed to, and has been slowly but surely better every day too !
So 7 days on im here...i have stopped crying ....so has he.....i am eating again......he never really stopped !!
and another sample is booked in...he is wearing loose boxers, taking vitamins not overheating his area.....he is still not on talking terms with his chooks but im sure that will resolve itself in time !!
We do the test on 9th Dec 2008 and get the results on 19th Dec - Merry Christmas Ho effin Ho !!! Please let it be better !!
Ironically the week we got 'THE' news my lucky bonsai tree died....every single leaf has fallen off. After some tender loving care its starting to get better slowly, it has some new leaves and is coming to life again...Sounds familiar !
I am feeling so much more positive and im sleeping better, its the waking i hate, for that split second where i dont know where i am - life is good- and then i get the familiar lurch deep in my stomach and everything come back to me in a sickening rush, rolling over and swiftly falling asleep again becomes increasingly difficult.
The doctors have mentioned that if the results stay the same we will need to consider IVF/ICSI to become pregnant and have the baby (squirt) we dream of !!