Its been ages !!

Ages and ages since ive posted !!

I have nothing to write about, nothing at all. Still waiting on appointments for various IF related things to come through the door.

Nothing new to report in the life of us two either. Df still off recovering from shoulder, but is doing well now - he is such a trouper !! We are still trying to make decision about the wedding, and im working all the overtime sent to me to pay for it ! ha !

I meant to post a wee piccy of my new Christmas pressies that i just love !

Df got me a links bracelet its gorg and i love it, my mam got me a Thomas Sabo bracelet. I love it too, it has a wee angel wings charm on it, my mam loves angels so it has special meaning, its the bracelet i will wear during my IF treatment, and any charms added to it are going to have special meaning too.

This is my Sabo bracelet, i was sure i had one of my Links bracelet too, but i cant find it so thats for another post !

Good Luck for this month Caz, batton down the hatches dolly !!xxxx

Just a quickie !

Rebecca - mothers are definately the best !!

My great friend Sue sent me a wee message last night ... it was lovely so im putting it here to keep forever it said.....
Dear God,
The lovely girl reading this is beautiful, classy and gorgeous and i love her so much, help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her. She needs you the most and let her know when she walks with you, she will always be safe.
I thought that was lovely, she really is a brilliant friend and im so glad she knows of my situation - she helps me every day !
xx

Fairly quiet this end !!

I got this photo from another fantastic blogger !! ... i think it looks lovely and peaceful, i would be quite happy sitting here just watching the world go past, waiting for God to answer my prayers.....and also waiting for the frikin appointments from hospitals !!!

Havent been here for a few days. Not that much happening to be honest !

Still waiting on the appointment to see the fertility specialist although we already know he cant do a thing for us apart from refer us to Glas.gow Ro.yal for ICSI....'apparently' the wait is about 16 weeks, which means april time - however both my mum and I work in the local hospital, where lo and behold Mr Fertility Dude works, so my mother is going to accost him in theatre on wednesday and try and get him to bring our appointment forward ..lol...mothers eh ! shes quite good friends with him so i have no doubt she will be able to pull some strings. I on the other hand accosted the Urology consultant who DF has been referred to, he was lovely, he will see DF but knows nothing other than IVF/ICSI will help- which he was VERY positive about. If we can get the fertility appt soon then they wont even bother holding us up anymore by seeing him.

So other than waiting on appointments there is nothing we can do, im bored waiting already !!

Upside is, i have time to lose some weight, i want to lose 25lbs for my wedding, and it will help with IVF too.

So thats it really...

im keeping everything crossed for my good friend who has just had another long cycle, no one deserves to go thru what w are all going through, its crap, and fingers crossed and baby dust to the other bloggers in the 2ww and those about to go through any kind of assisted conception !

More family support...

My younger brother now knows...boys are boys and dont usually say much. He didnt initially but after a few hours i got a text ...it read..." Hi sis, soz to hear your bit of bad news, both keep your heads up high, still got a bit of hope, we r all here for you's no matter wot xx"

God Love him...if u knew my brother(s) they dont really show their feelings, so this is massive. Obviously over this time ive had a few lovely texts from my mum, sister, mother in law and aunts, i wish now i had written them here as a way of reminding me of the support we have received. I will never forget them though. My dad didnt say much either but i know he is there. Just one other brother to find out now and thats me done. He can be insensitive at times, i think its how he deals with awkward situations so i dont know what he will be like. My wee bros girlfriend also text me a lovely message, it so nice to have the support of close family and friends.

Caz i hope it stays away for u hunni, fingers crossed !!

** edited on 12/1/09

Other brother and his girlfriend knows...J has been great and text me the morning after finding out - she has had her fair share of baby drama last year too...and she is there if i need to talk.

Brother hasnt said much and i dont expect him too, he deals with things a little differently than most in that he chooses to ignore it, he never really knows whats goin on in my life as we are both really busy and dont see each other too often.

xx

A treasure of a find..

This relates to us no end .... and i believe every word, ive also come to realise that no matter what we have come through, currently going through or about to go through, i will be ok. We will be ok.

What God Meant...
"Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones; "just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," or "why can't you just be happy with what you have," or the most painful from the ones who seem to have the good on God's plan; "maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never ceases to amaze me. These same people would never walk up to someone with cancer and say, "maybe God never meant for you to live." However since I am infertile, I am supposed to get on with my life.It is hard to understand why people cannot see infertility for what it is: a disease for which I have the right to seek treatment. What if doctors said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of children to be cripples, live in iron lungs or die." What if they never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that was God's plan?Why do I think God gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up each time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, and to create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility. No, God never meant for me NOT to have children. That is not my destiny, that is just a fork in the road I am on. I have been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I am a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and have greater inner strength on this journey to resolution and I haven't let him down.Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and deep that when the baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest most refreshing drink I have ever known. While I would never have chosen infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never experience the joy that I know awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And, the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility, I already know". - Anon

Hello 2009 - i hope im going to like you !

Happy New Year !! Its Officially 2009 !!

Im so excited to be in this year, it HAS to be better than 2008 which was a pit of shittyness !

Newsflash - We are THAT couple !

You know the couple that everyone gets on well with .....THAT couple who are so good together, who everyone says ' they are a lovely couple - they are so good together'...yes we are THAT couple. Over the holidays we have visited friends and family, and it has been fed back to us that apparently we are perfect together and a lovely couple - its lovely to know, of course we know this already - lol !! Now what strikes me is that when our news comes out to extended family , we will be thought of as that perfect couple who they cannot believe cant have babies the normal way - who are so good with everyone elses children yet may not be able to have their own... i dont mind this as i know we will get massive support from our families and extended families, they are all great - but we are THAT couple.

Plans for this year include,

- organising the wedding of our dreams

- working my ass off to pay for it

- getting our initial appointments with IF specialist and urologist out of the way

- getting on that waiting list at Glasgow Royal

- dealing nicely with the idiots who constantly moan about pregnancy - yes i will smile and be polite - i promise

- get in the best shape of my life - ahem - big challenge !

but the main thing is, im going to do it all with a smile on my face and my darling df beside me - i love him so so much !

We will both get through this year with a smile on our faces !!

x x x