THEE Appointment !!

Well it was today ......THE appointment was today.
It felt like it took us one hundred years to drive the motorway journey to get there, morning traffic sucks !!
Anyway we got there on time, and negotiated the maze to the ACS Unit ( Assisted Conception Service Unit) and took our place in the waiting room. There was another, maybe, 8 couples there waiting, all ages and from all walks of life, that was evident and I will say no more ! lol.

So a nurse called my name and took me to be weighed and take my height, My BMI is 27.1....healthy weight is 25, so ill take that, im not a kick in the arse away from it and the treatment cut off is 35 so im well under, back into the room to wait.
Later (a good 50 mins later) the doctor called my name, off we popped into the room. We need ICSI...(we already knew that), we have Male Factor, .....(no surprises there lady), we get 2 cycles as we are Lanarkshire patients.....(postcode lotterys are shit but if it will give us a baby then ill take it). We start in Dec/Jan.......(now im starting to get excited) ....and they will put 2 embryos back during each cycle ...(yeeehhhaaaa - fan bloody tastic!!!!)
Yeh so we start in Dec/Jan, much sooner than May which was our initial start date, and I thought since I am still in my 20's I would have to fight for 2 embryos to be transferred , but no, she offered me that little piece of delightful info all by herself. !!

Im delighted, Im excited, im nervous and very scared. Im scared I let this run over my head, I need to stay grounded, this may very well work, and on the other hand it could fail.....i HAVE to remember that whilst all the time having PMA !!!!
xx xx

Holy Moly

I heard from someone who is being treated at the same clinic as me that the waiting list had dropped...from 14 months to 7 months. Im interested to know why, but for now im taking peace from my own thoughts that since everyone is falling pregnant on their 1st cycle, its making more room for the rest of us to have a wee chance !! lol.

So anyways, I phoned up today and yes, that vicious little rumour is in fact true ! At the moment I have been on the waiting list for 7 months.....they will discuss things with us when we go on tuesday, but it looks like we will be going through a wee cycle, all being well, before the wedding !! wooohooooooooo !!

As excited as I am, and there will not be a snowballs chance in hell that i will be holding back on the cycle, but ....
Will my wedding dress fit ??
Can i still go on honeymoon to Egypt ??
Can i fly early in pregnancy ??
Is it going to work for me 1st time...ill still only be 29 !!

shit shit shit. Im excited, im scared, I dont know what the hell I am, but this is a surprise i wasnt expecting!I thought i was prepared, but i was NOT prepared for this !!

I guess ill find out more on Tuesday !!
Damn it, why is tuesday not tomorrow !!!! xx

Scunnered.com

I dont know exactly why, but im super scunnered right now !!
Im fed up with work, im fed up with working tons of extra hours in ITU to help pay for the wedding, im fed up of being shattered every night, and having no weekends to myself.

Things arent helping this situation....
work is a total pisser right now !
Can you believe that girls/women (mostly older than me) still whisper behind their hands/notebooks and in corners. Now, im not saying this is about me, or any work colleagues in general, but its just not nice, and totally immature. Yes I have a few close friends who I chat to, but we dont whisper behind our hands continously... we have had it mentioned at meetings about the morale and general 'feeling' of our department and I dont think this helps.
Unfortunately we have a colleague or two who is so money orientated its not even funny, its getting boring to listen to as well. Seriously do we need to know how much you just spent on shite, while the rest of the world is struggling with the economy......oh for a rich man eh !
We have a few guys who work in the department - very funny they ae and tey bring a lot of humour.......but my God, if they have an opinion you know about it, and worse still if your opinion is different from theirs !!!

Im just moaning now i know !!
My period (the cow) is due this weekend....my boobs are horrendously painful, i dont remember them being this sore - EVER.
I have a full weekend of work ahead of me and i cant bear it !!

My pregnant little sister is having a horrendous time, she is so so so sick and isnt even 7 weeks yet, they were going to admit her to hospital the other day, I feel so sorry for the wee mite !

Anyways enough whinging, im pre mental, work people are bugging the life out of me and i can vent here.....Im sure any of you out there who work with big groups of people have wee stories of wanting to kill bitchy workmates to cheer me up ?? Go on !! :)
xx

Ones mouth will be kept shut !!

Okay, so as per my last blog...my little sis is pregnant.....super early, but I took her for an early scan and its all in there !! Im so excited and cant wait to get to meet this little person and have it in our lives forever
but.........

Its getting a bit difficult.
We are just over a week away from meeting with our fertility consultants. We have only just given in another sample and are waiting on that nerve wracking result and my mind is pre-occupied with all that and the nerves are kicking in a bit.
1.What if the count is so low they cant do anything - we ae on the ICSI pathway so i know they can work with very little amounts.
2. What if they want us to just keep trying for another few years and see what happens - im 30 this year and i know they probably wont but stil, im worried.

I have all this going on in my mind and an excitable 22yr old pregnant girl and my mother has started knitting - she is fabulous at it and her stuff is so cute !!
Im getting the text photos of teeny tiny bootees, and text messages informing me that they are off out for more wool and chilling in the house knitting. I can only answer so many times with 'aw thats nice' and 'aw they are cute' before they start to want me to be a bit more enthusiastic.
Now i have been very supportive and have sent the gushy texts and excited phone conversations, and i mean every single word of excitement that i say......but its getting sore.
I dont want loads of attention, we have known about our IVF for a year now so its all out in the open, i guess I just want them to remember me, remember what we are going through at least until after this appointment, i love the cute clothes but right now i want to be a million miles away from them but just until this 'meeting the consultant' thing is done. I dont want to ask to be left out of the teeny tiny baby clothes fotos texting thing, as then they may think im the jealous big sister, and im not....i am really really really not (i would tell u guys if i was). Im so excited for the baby to come and im so excited for my wee sis, who i just love love love to pieces.
So for the sake of keeping face and not having anyone jump to conclusions about how im feeling, my mouth will be kept firmly shut !! Ill love the cute clothes and ill do all the gushy stuff. I just need to get past this next 2 weeks. Hopefully after the 10th Novemeber ill be able to gush away till my hearts content and look forward to my mother knitting for my baby.

Wow I got an award !!!!

Thanks to the Secret D for the award.
Rules
1. You Can Only Use One Word!
2. Pass this along to 6 [any] of your favorite bloggers
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have Fun!

The Fun Part
1. Where is your cell phone? In my Jacket Pocket
2. Your hair? Brown and Caramel
3. Your mother? Knitting
4. Your father? Pre-occupied
5. Your favorite food? Cereal
6. Your dream last night? Cant remember
7. Your favorite drink? Diet Coke
8. Your dream/goal? to live a fulfilled life
9. What room are you in? living room
10. Your hobby? farmville on facebook
11. Your fear? losing loved ones
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy and contented with a child
13. Where were you last night? Work
14. Something that you aren’t? Pregnant
15. Muffins? Chocolate
16. Wish list item? Ugg Boots
17. Where did you grow up? Motherwell
18. Last thing you did? Ate
19. What are you wearing? Jammies
20. Your TV? Plasma
21. Your pets? Kitten
22. Friends? tv programme - love it
23. Your life? OK
24. Your mood? chilled
25. Missing someone? yeh
26. Vehicle? Golf
27. Something you’re not wearing? socks
28. Your favorite store? new look
29. Your favorite color? Black
30. When was the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? last Monday
32. Your best friend? Fiance
33. One place that I go to over and over? Country Baskets
34. One person who emails me regularly? facebook
35. Favorite place to eat? anywhere

Im having connections problems so ill pass this award on tomorrow !. x

Chilling !!!

Well there have been a few things going on over here in my bubble!!

1. Other half handed in his sample on Wednesday to the new fertlity place who will be looking after our care - not after we had a bit of a niggle earlier that week, as he went out and got blotto after the football - the very week we had to hand a test in !! Turns out he may not be coping as good with all of this as I had thought. He hates his job, and although has completed his degree, still has no job with money that reflects his qualifications. He is feeing a wee bitty awkward about the whole treatment/sample things. He doesnt complain, and he isnt depressed, I think he is just struggling with a brick wall at every turn ! The fact that I get tons of overtime in my work to help pay for the wedding and he gets nothing from his place isnt helping.

2. My bridesmaid is going to be 7 months pregnant at my wedding. My bridesmaid is my only sister, she is 22 and the dress for the wedding is hanging in the wardrobe - eeek !
She is super early at only 6 weeks and we havent told many people, I know its safe here as no one I know face to face reads this. Im ecstatic now that the news has settled in - it was unplanned and we were all shocked to say the least...but now I cant wait. I need to take the little madam out and buy her a whole new dress, various sizes bigger than she is just now !! We call her little blob 'nemo', well I did. lol.... she had an early scan due to cramping on one side, all seems fine.

3. We have our first follow up appointment with the consultants at the Roy.al in Glasg.ow on 10th Novemeber, so im looking forward to getting this show on the road.

4. Im 11lbs lighter than I was at the start of the year !
5. Im now brunette instead of Blonde

I think thats you all updated !

Wedding plans are coming along nicely, the material for the chair bows has been bought, i have began designing my invites and i have bought in most of the retro style sweets that im using as favours. I had my first fitting last week and the dress fits perfect apart for the length ( im a bit of a short ass).

So I think thats enough for me to be getting on with just now. Its all happening so quickly and this time next year I will be married 6 months, and I hope to be pregnant !! Fingers crossed !. xx

Something to report !

We got our initial appointment today !! Im so excited and so so thoroughly shitting myself !!
Oh has to hand in his sample on 21st this month and we have our very first appointment with the people who are hopefully going to make us a baby on the 10th Novemeber !!

Our first result was 200'000 little spermies/ml, not so good. Our 2nd result was 1 million spermies/ml and our 3rd was 2 millions spermies/ml. At the bottom of our Semen Analaysis sheet it says..
'Criteria for acceptance onto treatment. ICSI - >1 million motile sperm in ejaculate or >1motile sperm recovered from specialised ICSI preparation'. Im nervous !

Only yesterday we were saying how all the wedding plans are helping us put the looming IVF to the back of our minds. That all changed this morning.

xx xx