Consent - Done......Bloods - Done ......Me - Done !!

I cant explain this feeling ........I feel deflated ....totally deflated !

We had our appointment today at GRI ... (ICSI Clinic). It went well. We both got our bloods done - HIV, Hep B, Hep C and i got my hormone levels checked. As a nurse i am a teeny bit worried i may have 'picked something up' in the hospital. I havent ever given it much thought until im being tested, but lately we have had a stream if IVDA's, and most lately Anthrax patients due to drug abuse. Its a stark reminder of what we deal with !!
We signed our Consents and are good to go pending our results which we go back for in 2 weeks.

We asked today about df's sperm test results from last time we were there as we had never been given that information - <1million/ml with only occasional motile sperm seen. This doesnt sound good, it doesnt sound good at all. Now we knew this, hence the reason we are on the ICSI pathway but up until now we hadnt been told about the motility part. I now worry that this will be a big dampener on the success of our ICSI.
Will it put us at a disadvantage ?
How many is occasional ??
What if i get 8 eggs but they only get 3 or 4 sperm ??

Golly, its caused me a bit of a headache today !!.....and now im worrying.

I dont have time to worry, I have a wedding in 9 weeks - MY wedding, MY honeymoon and im leaving this to deal with when i get home. They will offer me to start during next months cycle but im going to hang fire till i get home from honeymoon !!
The internal examination and high vag swabs have left me a tad achy and irritable tonight !! tut.


oh and while im ranting why wont blogger let me reply on other peoples blogs ?? xx xx

Im still here !!

Good Evening.
My blogger has been playing up lately, not letting me post and not leting me reply to others !!
Firstly tho - MASSIVE congrats to my mate Caz.......finally she has been given her chance, im so so ecstatic for her. Good Luck for Monday chicka.
Congrats to Murgdan too - a boy....awwww fantastic news.

So whats new with me?
I still need ivf/icsi. No amount of bding during the best time of the month is going to get me in the 'family way'. AF arrived today, I hate the pain she causes me, not to mention the heartache !

We had our first appointment at the clinic a few months back, we are now onto our 2nd and 3rd rounds. 25the January for all the bloods and consents. Then we go back for all the results on 9th February. We could probably start in March but our wedding is on 9th April, followed by a 2 week honeymoon so im thinking we will start end April or beginning May !!

Nothing much else happening. The snow here has been terrible now for going on 2 weeks, we havent seen the ground at all in that time. Christmas was lovely. My sister is now 15 weeks pregnant and all is going well.

Im working right through New Year. tut. If this snow keeps up we could ebter the guinness book of records for plating bones back together !!.

All my consent stuff came in the other week, holy moly !!.....I need to consent to consent !!! crazy stuff.

2010 is going to be my year. Wedding, honeymoon and baby bump in one year
Fingers crossed !
xx xx xx

THEE Appointment !!

Well it was today ......THE appointment was today.
It felt like it took us one hundred years to drive the motorway journey to get there, morning traffic sucks !!
Anyway we got there on time, and negotiated the maze to the ACS Unit ( Assisted Conception Service Unit) and took our place in the waiting room. There was another, maybe, 8 couples there waiting, all ages and from all walks of life, that was evident and I will say no more ! lol.

So a nurse called my name and took me to be weighed and take my height, My BMI is 27.1....healthy weight is 25, so ill take that, im not a kick in the arse away from it and the treatment cut off is 35 so im well under, back into the room to wait.
Later (a good 50 mins later) the doctor called my name, off we popped into the room. We need ICSI...(we already knew that), we have Male Factor, .....(no surprises there lady), we get 2 cycles as we are Lanarkshire patients.....(postcode lotterys are shit but if it will give us a baby then ill take it). We start in Dec/Jan.......(now im starting to get excited) ....and they will put 2 embryos back during each cycle ...(yeeehhhaaaa - fan bloody tastic!!!!)
Yeh so we start in Dec/Jan, much sooner than May which was our initial start date, and I thought since I am still in my 20's I would have to fight for 2 embryos to be transferred , but no, she offered me that little piece of delightful info all by herself. !!

Im delighted, Im excited, im nervous and very scared. Im scared I let this run over my head, I need to stay grounded, this may very well work, and on the other hand it could fail.....i HAVE to remember that whilst all the time having PMA !!!!
xx xx

Holy Moly

I heard from someone who is being treated at the same clinic as me that the waiting list had dropped...from 14 months to 7 months. Im interested to know why, but for now im taking peace from my own thoughts that since everyone is falling pregnant on their 1st cycle, its making more room for the rest of us to have a wee chance !! lol.

So anyways, I phoned up today and yes, that vicious little rumour is in fact true ! At the moment I have been on the waiting list for 7 months.....they will discuss things with us when we go on tuesday, but it looks like we will be going through a wee cycle, all being well, before the wedding !! wooohooooooooo !!

As excited as I am, and there will not be a snowballs chance in hell that i will be holding back on the cycle, but ....
Will my wedding dress fit ??
Can i still go on honeymoon to Egypt ??
Can i fly early in pregnancy ??
Is it going to work for me 1st time...ill still only be 29 !!

shit shit shit. Im excited, im scared, I dont know what the hell I am, but this is a surprise i wasnt expecting!I thought i was prepared, but i was NOT prepared for this !!

I guess ill find out more on Tuesday !!
Damn it, why is tuesday not tomorrow !!!! xx

Wow I got an award !!!!

Thanks to the Secret D for the award.
Rules
1. You Can Only Use One Word!
2. Pass this along to 6 [any] of your favorite bloggers
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have Fun!

The Fun Part
1. Where is your cell phone? In my Jacket Pocket
2. Your hair? Brown and Caramel
3. Your mother? Knitting
4. Your father? Pre-occupied
5. Your favorite food? Cereal
6. Your dream last night? Cant remember
7. Your favorite drink? Diet Coke
8. Your dream/goal? to live a fulfilled life
9. What room are you in? living room
10. Your hobby? farmville on facebook
11. Your fear? losing loved ones
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy and contented with a child
13. Where were you last night? Work
14. Something that you aren’t? Pregnant
15. Muffins? Chocolate
16. Wish list item? Ugg Boots
17. Where did you grow up? Motherwell
18. Last thing you did? Ate
19. What are you wearing? Jammies
20. Your TV? Plasma
21. Your pets? Kitten
22. Friends? tv programme - love it
23. Your life? OK
24. Your mood? chilled
25. Missing someone? yeh
26. Vehicle? Golf
27. Something you’re not wearing? socks
28. Your favorite store? new look
29. Your favorite color? Black
30. When was the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? last Monday
32. Your best friend? Fiance
33. One place that I go to over and over? Country Baskets
34. One person who emails me regularly? facebook
35. Favorite place to eat? anywhere

Im having connections problems so ill pass this award on tomorrow !. x

Chilling !!!

Well there have been a few things going on over here in my bubble!!

1. Other half handed in his sample on Wednesday to the new fertlity place who will be looking after our care - not after we had a bit of a niggle earlier that week, as he went out and got blotto after the football - the very week we had to hand a test in !! Turns out he may not be coping as good with all of this as I had thought. He hates his job, and although has completed his degree, still has no job with money that reflects his qualifications. He is feeing a wee bitty awkward about the whole treatment/sample things. He doesnt complain, and he isnt depressed, I think he is just struggling with a brick wall at every turn ! The fact that I get tons of overtime in my work to help pay for the wedding and he gets nothing from his place isnt helping.

2. My bridesmaid is going to be 7 months pregnant at my wedding. My bridesmaid is my only sister, she is 22 and the dress for the wedding is hanging in the wardrobe - eeek !
She is super early at only 6 weeks and we havent told many people, I know its safe here as no one I know face to face reads this. Im ecstatic now that the news has settled in - it was unplanned and we were all shocked to say the least...but now I cant wait. I need to take the little madam out and buy her a whole new dress, various sizes bigger than she is just now !! We call her little blob 'nemo', well I did. lol.... she had an early scan due to cramping on one side, all seems fine.

3. We have our first follow up appointment with the consultants at the Roy.al in Glasg.ow on 10th Novemeber, so im looking forward to getting this show on the road.

4. Im 11lbs lighter than I was at the start of the year !
5. Im now brunette instead of Blonde

I think thats you all updated !

Wedding plans are coming along nicely, the material for the chair bows has been bought, i have began designing my invites and i have bought in most of the retro style sweets that im using as favours. I had my first fitting last week and the dress fits perfect apart for the length ( im a bit of a short ass).

So I think thats enough for me to be getting on with just now. Its all happening so quickly and this time next year I will be married 6 months, and I hope to be pregnant !! Fingers crossed !. xx

Something to report !

We got our initial appointment today !! Im so excited and so so thoroughly shitting myself !!
Oh has to hand in his sample on 21st this month and we have our very first appointment with the people who are hopefully going to make us a baby on the 10th Novemeber !!

Our first result was 200'000 little spermies/ml, not so good. Our 2nd result was 1 million spermies/ml and our 3rd was 2 millions spermies/ml. At the bottom of our Semen Analaysis sheet it says..
'Criteria for acceptance onto treatment. ICSI - >1 million motile sperm in ejaculate or >1motile sperm recovered from specialised ICSI preparation'. Im nervous !

Only yesterday we were saying how all the wedding plans are helping us put the looming IVF to the back of our minds. That all changed this morning.

xx xx