The 2ww is a pisser !!!!

Im trying so hard not to remember im in the 2 ww.....after all can anything actually happen for me?

when im not thinking about it, the niggling feelings low down remind me that this time last month i would be noting down every wee symtpom and hoping and praying that it meant a baby was trying frantically to stick to my uterus !!

Urgh its horrible.....ive been better this week, i have been up to lots with work and the gym and wrapping chrstmas pressies !! yup u got it ....Christmas is almost here !! yay

Well anyways im 5dpo so ive still got a bit of a way to go in this 2ww malarky. Ive been chatting away in work to the pregnant girls..... they r doing really well and one had a scan and everything is gr8 and the other has hers on Tuesday its exciting for her !! hopefully it will calm herdown a wee bit - shes mental, but in a lovely way !.....its been ok chatting to them, my tummy isnt lurching as much as it did, i think im accepting whats happening to me a bit better now. Some are asking if the baby thing is on hold till after the wedding in May 2010....im just saying yes !

I havent prayed for a while but im finding myself talking to those above more often now, is this normal? am i being a hypocrit? - i do it then feel bad .....am i only doing it as i need help? do those above feel used ?? damn my catholic guilt !

In other news my bonsai is fully 'leaved' again....im so pleased....it 'died' the same week we got our bad news, but i looked after it and its back to full health again !!! im hoping is mirroring my life and the tests were rotten but now they will be back to normal again next month !

Went to tesco tonight instead of asda ....... it was shit !! Note to self never to go again !!!