Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day we see the consultants. The urology consultant and the fertility consultant.

Tomorrow is the day we will probably be referred to the Glasgow Roy.al for our IVF/ICSI treatment.

Tomorrow is the day that a big fat line wll be drawn under this process and we will move forward and onto the next step.

Im shitting myself for tomorrow.

I should be pregnant by now.

Its been 19 months since the Implanon inplant was removed from my arm by the very same man im seeing tomorrow regarding our infertility - theres irony for you.

We have a wedding next month - gorgeous other half is the best man, in my ignorance I convinced myself I would be pregnant for this wedding, I imagined I would be sitting there swollen ankles and all and rubbing my tummy whilst beaming with pride as he gave his best man speech.

But it wasnt to be ......

Instead

- we are waiting to be impregnated by doctors - the god thing being that we will see our 'baby' before it gets transferred into my womb !! no fertiles can say that eh !

- we are labelled with infertility, and God forbid anyone mentions babies around us, wow that might push us right over the egde.

- we are dealing with the ..when will it be you ? questions and the 'dont worry you will be next !' statements.

- we are left in limbo as to when we will get to the top of the NHS waiting list, 2010 sometime

and most of all we are left wondering if this will even work for us full stop.

- we are left to take our lives appointment by appointment as opposed to day by day.

Thank goodness we are solid as a rock.

Thank goodness I started this blog, so many people are going through what we are going through and its great to read the story and see that life really does continue when faced with something as horrid and vile as infertility..

Its nice to give and receive support and prayers at this time in our life.

I dont have enemies, but if I did I wouldnt wish it on any of them.

So will the sun come out for us tomorrow ? Fingers crossed. xx